


Marry Me?

by fintasticampora



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: ADD Bitty, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Canon-typical swearing, Communication, Dating Is Stupid, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Jack Zimmermann has a type, Loneliness, M/M, Married by Mom and Dad AU!, Minor Relationships, NHL Player Jack Zimmermann, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Professional Baker Eric Bittle, Tags Added as Story Developes, Wedding Fluff, hockey injury, lets just get married!, strap in everyone it'll be a long one, sudden and irrational life choices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:52:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10800177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fintasticampora/pseuds/fintasticampora
Summary: Dating is hard. Busy schedules, scummy people and routines make it hard to find a partner that will last for the rest of your life. Why not have your parents do it for you?Married By Mom and Dad AU!





	1. Eric

**Author's Note:**

> Strap in everyone! This is also doubling as part of my final exam for my writing class.

Eric loves his job more than anything. Ever since he was a child in his Mama’s kitchen, he said he wanted to be a chef. He still looks back on the fond memories of cooking in his parent’s kitchen in Georgia, reminiscing the feeling of spending his entire day cooking for his family. Occasionally, he’d get to cook with Moomaw in her kitchen, staring out of the window to the expansive stretch of peach trees. The land had been in his family for years. He remembers the day Moomaw caught him staring at the peach trees. She had put a hand on his shoulder and promised him that one day he could have this house, these peach trees, and him and his wife could enjoy this view everyday like her.

When Eric went to Samwell University to play hockey, he didn’t tell his family that he didn’t ever plan on returning home once he graduated. Georgia wasn’t where he belonged. It wasn’t where he was needed. Eric knew that, once he graduated, he’d stay somewhere close to campus. If not near campus, away from Georgia. He loves his family, loves all of them to death, but there’s no room for his existence in the population’s safe-haven. He didn’t want to just be tolerated where he lived. Eric wanted to be needed. He wanted to be apart of something and Georgia wouldn’t offer that to him unconditionally.

So telling his parents he was working in a bakery in Providence hurt them. The bitterness in his words when he told his Mama that “there wasn’t room for people like him in Madison.” The day he told his parents that he wasn’t returning to Georgia was the same day that he told his parents exactly why he couldn’t. Susanne and Coach, initially, didn’t understand why he couldn’t be gay and live in Georgia. Eric told them that his heart belonged in the cold winters and pleasant smiles of Massachusetts. Slowly, they came to terms with it. Eric promised them that he would visit them and Moomaw, and together, they healed.

Eric worked up the ranks in the bakery. The owner, Peter, was getting close to retirement, slowly handing over his job to Eric. Peter had a particularly fond spot for Eric, being born and raised in Georgia as well. Peter told Eric one day that his goal was to bring a little bit of sunshine to this rainy town. Eric told him he had accomplished that. A week later, Peter told Eric he would be leaving him the bakery next year.

Eric was thankful for his minor in business. He knew that one day he’d own his own bakery but he wasn’t aware of how suddenly his dreams would come true. It felt like one day he was graduating and the next he was up to his elbows in taxes for Sunshine Bakery. He told Mama and Coach and they were thrilled for him. He felt like everything was finally turning around for the better.

Eric, given the nickname Bitty from his employees, was making his rounds at the bakery, talking to his regulars who always seemed happy to see him. He settled down across the seat from his best friend and favorite regular, Lardo.

“Well. Long time, no see,” he teased, smiling at Lardo as she placed a bookmark in her novel. Her eyes met his with a small laugh.

“I was wondering when you’d interrupt me,” she scorned, though her voice lacked malice.

“Please, you know you love to hear about my problems.”

“You’re right,” she admitted, “It’s my favorite.”

Bitty couldn’t help but let out a polite laugh, grinning at her. “Okay, I’ll get right to the good stuff,” he said, “I have a date.”

Lardo fully closed her book, setting it to the side. “Elaborate,” she said with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

“You remember Dylan? Tall, met him in college? The one I still talk to.” Bitty couldn't keep the smile off his face just talking about it.

“The one who puked on your shoes you’re still talking to?”

“Uh, yeah. That would be the one,” he said, dejected, “Sadly. I thought you had forgotten about that part.” Bitty's smile faltered upon remembering the gross and traumatic experience.

“An elephant never forgets, Bits. Why are you going out with him?”

“He’s sweet,” Bitty crooned, “He’s been tempting me with this for a week. He’s a good guy, Lards.”

“Look. All I’m saying is that you can do better than a guy who gets so trashed he decides to grab your ass and puke on your shoes.”

“Fair. I see where you’re coming from,” he acknowledged, “But he seems like he’s changed over the years.”

“Alright, Bitty. If you think it's worth the shot,” she said, tapping her dull nails against the cover of her book.

“Thanks, Lards,” he said, “You’re the best.”

“Call me if you need back up. Or Dex. I'm sure he’ll crack some skulls for you.” Lardo looked up at the redhead wiping off the front counter with a rag and Bitty couldn't help but grin at his hardworking and loyal employees. 

“Yeah, you're right,” he said with a grin, “Thanks again. Your coffee is on me.”

“What a gentleman. Now go bake those mini pies.”

“Don't have to tell me twice,” Bitty said with a laugh, heading back behind the counter.

_X_ 

Bitty pushed open the door, throwing his keys into the nearest surface available and landing on his couch with a thud and the quiet squeak of metal springs. Bitty let out a long sigh, grabbing the red throw pillow on his couch and pulling it to his chest. He stared at the soft fabric before smashing his face into it and letting out a frustrated whine.

When he was done throwing his fit, he rolled onto his side, stroking the pillow with one hand as he recalled the awful events of the night. The dinner was alright, Bitty had a few laughs, but he just didn't feel right. It was like a connection was trying to happen, but the two of them just weren’t adding up. It frustrated Bitty to hell and back. He really wants to like this guy, but he's making it so hard. Bitty quietly toed off his shoes, letting them drop to the floor without any care at all as to where they landed. Why can't romance ever work in his favor? He let his eyes slip shut, replaying the night until he fell asleep.

It wasn't until he woke up with a pain in his back that he realized he slept with the lights on and fully dressed. He sauntered over to the light switch, switching it off before slinking into his bedroom. He checked his phone to check the time -- too late for him to be awake -- when he saw three texts from Lardo.

 _Lardo: how was the date?_  
_Lardo: you better be busy getting laid_  
_Lardo: if you're in trouble call me or dex_

He barely had enough time to send one word before he was back asleep.

_Bitty: awful_

 _X_

When Bitty woke up that morning, he checked his phone. Sometime during the night, he managed to get dressed and changed, which he was thankful for. If he slept in his dress clothes any longer he would have been so angry with himself, but now as he checked Instagram, his anger was directed towards his previous night's date. He tossed his phone aside, getting dressed for work in a daze and he was out the door without even thinking about his phone still laying on his bed.

He knew his sour attitude was affecting his baking. Dex gave him a weird look when he first saw Bitty, noticed that something was off. He’s been hovering around him, obviously tempted to talk to him but unsure of what to say. Normally, Bitty would pity the poor boy, but he was pleasantly content with being left alone as he loses himself in his baking. Its nice to be able to clear his mind and not think about that awful post on Instagram he saw. The only problem is getting a little too lost. Time passed by him and he didn’t even give taking a break a second thought. That is, until Dex came up to him.

“Bits?” Dex, always receptive to the situation, was quietly getting Bitty’s attention.

Bitty looked over and his eyes widened. He had been too distracted to even hear him. “Is something wrong, Dex?” Bitty wiped his hands on his apron after setting down a tray of cookies from the oven.

“You haven’t taken a break yet. Lardo is waiting,” Dex said, taking the tray out from under Bitty and stepping away with it, going to restock the front counter while another employee, Chowder, worked with the customers. Bitty sighed, following Dex out before taking a hard right and walking out to Lardo. The moment he neared, Lardo set aside her book and settled back in her chair.

“That bad?” She asked, skipping introductions as Bitty sat down across from her.

Bitty just sadly shook his head. “I was frustrated the whole date. It’s like the two of us just weren’t connecting and I really wanted to. He was too awkward.”

“And then?” She pressed, knowing there was something left unsaid.

“And then,” he started, “I went on Instagram. Lardo, you wouldn’t believe it. He posted a picture of him and some girl curled up on the bed together. How scummy! And in the description was some disgustingly cute conversation between the two of them, about him treating her right or something. I can’t believe he tried to pull that over on me. I bet he did that just so I would see it.”

“Funny,” she said, setting aside her coffee, “I actually can believe that.”

“I should have listened to you,” Bitty said, picking at the edge of his apron, “He’s a total scumbag. Using me and her like that.”

“Yep, he is,” Lardo simply stated.

“I hate dating. I hate guys being scummy. I hate first dates and I hate my stupid baking schedule. It makes all of this so hard.”

“Well, Bits,” she said, nudging his leg with her foot so his eyes would look back up. When she was sure he was listening, she continued, “I may have found something for that.”

Bitty’s attention was thoroughly caught, and he sat up straighter, leaning in so he could hang onto every word. “What do you mean?”

“There’s this website, Bits. I started doing a little research while you were out with that awful guy. See, you have your parents get together and make a dating profile for you and together, they look through profiles and decide a good person for you. The second catch is, you’re supposed to get married. The point is you’re supposed to let your parents pick out a good life partner for you, and then you marry them while seeing them for the first time.”

“Lardo, that’s insane! There’s no way that’s legit.”

“Oh, dude,” she said with a grin, “It is. I searched real hard, a lot of legal stuff posted right on their website. They’re totally legit.”

“My parents would never! I mean, that’s… It's so…”

“Extreme?” Bitty nodded and Lardo grinned. “I know. That’s why it’s perfect. Instead of toeing around, trying to weed out the bad guys from the good, your parents do it. And I’m sure they have great taste. Just give them the rundown. Your preferences, what you like, what you’re looking for.”

“You don’t think this will actually work, do you?”

“Only one way to find out.”

Bitty sighed, and said, “I’ll nap on it.”

 

It was only a few days before Bitty brought it up to his parents. In that time, he read every single bit of information he could find. He even managed to contact a lady who used the service. He asked her all about the site and she was happy to answer. Reading articles is one thing, but actually emailing a living person who has done it and found this wild thing successful is another. It was probably the most comforting thing he found while investigating. It was just the push he needed in order to bring the idea up to his parents.

“Dicky,” his mother crooned. Bitty instantly knew she was concerned, and he shrunk into his couch, adjusting the screen on his laptop.

Bitty let out a soft huff and said, “It’s crazy, I know.”

“Honey, why?” Suzanne sounded so confused. Obviously something like this has never crossed her mind. It never crossed Bitty's, either.

Bitty couldn’t help but laugh, watching as Mama and Coach looked at each other.

“You don't have to,” Bitty said with a smile, “I know this is crazy. If you don't want to, I can just fake it. I mean, really, it's okay.”

“Junior,” Coach said, “This does seem a little out there. I understand that this dating thing could be hard for you, but is this really the way?”

“Coach, it’s okay,” Bitty said, looking at them through the Skype window, “If you don't want to do it, then don't worry about it.”

“Sweetie, if you really want us to…” Suzanne looked up at Coach, Coach looked back at Suzanne, and together they had a silent conversation. Suzanne turned back to the screen with a small smile and said, “We’re gonna talk about it.”

“That's all I ask,” Bitty said, “But now I've got to get some sleep. Early shift at the bakery tomorrow! I love you both.”

“Love you, too, Dicky.”

“Love you, Junior.”

“Goodnight y’all.”

But the very next day, he got a text from his Mama. 

_Mama: me and ur dad are in ._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Message me on tumblr [@hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i](hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com) to yell at me about this fic


	2. Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's introduction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is my birthday so I figured I'd treat y'all to another chapter! Here is everyone's favorite!
> 
> Descriptions of Jack's injury are at the very beginning of this chapter, so if you'd like to avoid it just skip the first three paragraphs and go to the first line of dialogue. Just know that Jack suffers from a knee injury (he sustained during an NHL game) that he's still working through and still causes him to have a slight limp.

Jack never realized what people meant by having your life flash before your eyes until that day. While he was soaring through the air due to a check in a playoff game, he could see his entire career play out like a movie. From the first day he had skates strapped to his feet to his first Stanley Cup win. From his first scraped knees to now, this moment, where he knew that his career was ending. In the years he spent in the air, rolling over the back of an opponent player, he knew that this would be time in which his fate was sealed. No more captaincy, no more Stanley Cups, no more broken sticks.

Only a shattered knee, a concussion and a ride in the ambulance.

Thankfully for Jack, it wasn’t the concussion that ruined his chances to play. It turned out to only be mild and, after weeks of recovery, his brain remained in tact. The shattered kneecap, however, is what took him out of the NHL. After extensive physical therapy, he was able to walk. His parents didn’t need to babysit him anymore and he was finally able to roam around his apartment freely without the use of an assistant. He felt like he was fresh out of rehab again; lost but happy to make his own decisions. The only problem now was the lack of entertainment. The NHL occupied his entire life from the beginning. The increase of free time makes him feel as though he’s wasting away his days.

“What are you planning to do?” His father had asked him on the phone one night, checking up on how he was doing with the injury.

“I don’t know yet, Papa,” he told him, his voice slipping into his native French-Canadian, “I haven’t figured that out.”

“You could always take up golf. Maybe college.”

“I’m too old for college, Papa,” he informed him with the smallest hint of laughter in his voice, “And I’m not old enough for golf.”

“Chirp me all you want,” his father retorted, “But your Maman has an amazing swing.”

“It’s getting late, Papa,” he said, setting down in his bed, adjusting the pillow under his knee from where it’s been hurting him all day. “I really ought to get some sleep.”

“Geez, Jack. And you say I’m the old man.”

“Goodnight, Papa. I love you. Tell Maman I love her.”

“Good night, Jack,” his father replied, his charming smile heard even through the static of the phone, “We love you too.”

The next day, when Jack went out to get coffee with Shitty, he found himself curled in himself, hovering over the coffee cup and letting the warmth of it ease his mind. Shitty took a long sip set his cup down, then looked at Jack.

“What’s up?” Shitty let his eyes take in Jack, noting every feature and detecting his emotions.

Jack let out a soft sigh, looking away from the dark brew and looking at Shitty. “I don’t know. That’s why I wanted to ask you.”

Shitty nodded his head, easing back in his seat and toying with his mustache. “Okay, tell me how you’ve been feeling. We can start there.”

Jack took a moment to drink his coffee and think. He tapped his foot while he contemplated his mood and Shitty patiently awaited. When he was finally ready, his foot stilled and he looked up at Shitty. “Tired. I feel like I have too much time. Now that I’m not playing, I don’t know what to do with the day. My dad says golfing.”

“Do you want to golf?” Shitty asked, moving his attention to the sleeve on his coffee cup.

“No. I don’t.”

“Jack,” Shitty said, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t know what I really want to do. I… I want to talk to people. I feel like I’ve lost connections due to hockey. Old friends.”

“You’re lonely,” Shitty told him, watching Jack carefully for a reaction.

Jack furrowed his brows, dwelling on the thought. Lonely. The sudden longing hit him now, the underlying need for someone to talk to, to have someone occupy time with him. He thought it over for a long while in silence and Shitty patiently let him. He finally accepted the thought, and he looked down at his coffee cup. “I could see that.”

“You don’t have to agree with that thought. I’m not a psychologist. I just feel like maybe you’re missing having a team. People to look after.”

Jack nodded, muttering, “No, yeah, that’s understandable. I do miss my team.”

“Maybe you oughta try dating, Jack. Maybe you can find you a lucky man or woman.”

“I hate it,” he said with a sigh, “I hate dating. It’s awkward. I’m awkward. I wish I could skip having to worry about something working out and just know that things are gonna go.”

“Skip all the bullshit? Get straight to the marriage?” Shitty grinned, his eyes looking down at the coffee. “Yeah. I understand that.” Shitty’s face contorted for a moment, and he gave Jack a strange look.

“Jack,” Shitty started, leaning forward in his seat. Jack recognized that tone, knew that it meant trouble. “I think-- This is gonna sound crazy-- But I think I might know something that might help you. See there’s this website based off a TV show. It’s called Married By Mom and Dad. See, you let your parents pick out the person you like, trust their judgement, and they find someone for you to marry. Cuts out all the shit, brah.”

Jack took a deep breath. “Shitty, don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” Jack felt a swirling pool of anxiety in his gut.

“Absolutely,” Shitty said, “It’s extreme. But, shit, Jack, don’t you think that’s what you want? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but you said you’d like to skip all the bullshit, so do it. I trust Mr. and Mrs. Zimmermann to pick out a suitable partner for you. They know you. They know what you need, what you want. You can tell them all this, too. If you have any sort of special requirements. Like the fact they have to be blond, strong and cute.”

Jack finally cracked a little smile at that, willing his nerves down. “They don’t have to be blond. I find brunettes attractive, too.”

“Jack you’re such a fucking liar,” Shitty accused with a grin, “You know you need a cute blond in your arms.”

Jack relinquished and accepted defeat. “Alright, alright. So I like blond hair,” he said with a grin. Jack is always thankful for the fact that Shitty knows how to chirp him and get a smile on his face.

“How about you go home and think on it for a couple days. Consult with your parents, tell them what you think. I’m sure you mom would love to pick out the perfect partner for you.”

“Alright, Shits,” Jack agreed, “I’ll think about it. Don’t expect me to through with it, though. I’m still on the fence.”

“Check out their website, brah. I’m sure they can answer your questions.”

When the two finally parted ways, Jack’s phone dinged with a text from Shitty. He checked it when he got into his apartment, tossing his keys in the bowl by the door.

_Shitty: heres the link for the website to check out_

Jack shook his head at his easily-excited friend. Just as he was about to stuff his phone in his pocket, he felt it vibrate with a series of texts.

 _Shitty: dont worry about legal trouble either brah_  
_Shitty: you know that if shit tries to go down ill have your back_  
_Shitty: I didnt go into Harvard law for nothing_

Jack sat down on his couch, shooting him a few texts back.

 _Jack: Thanks._  
_Jack: You know you’re the only lawyer I trust._  
_Jack: I’m gonna get off of here now and check this website out._  
_Shitty: just make sure im the best man at your wedding_  
_Jack: Of course. Who else would it be?_

 _X_

His parents didn’t know what to expect. Jack understands that he sorta sprung this on them. He doubted they’d ever even considered this before.

“Jack, honey,” his mother, Alicia, said. Jack knew that his was wild and out of left field. He knew why they were concerned. “Don’t you think this all a bit…”

“Sudden,” Bob, his father, finished for her.

Jack sighed, pressing the phone up to his ear. “Yes,” he agreed, “It is sudden. I’m running out of options, Maman. I just feel like you two can help me.” He closed his eyes, sinking into the couch. As he settled, his free hand went to rub at his knee, trying to massage away the aches. “You know I’ve been trying to get out there. Nothing is working for me. This website is supposed to be good. I trust you two. All the people I pick don’t seem to fit. Maybe you two can help me find someone.”

It was a long moment before Bob and Alicia spoke. Just when Jack had thought it was over, that the plan has been nipped in the bud, Bob said, “Let’s do it, honey.”

“Bob!” Alicia sounded personally offended.

“Alicia. Let’s give it a try. If we don’t find someone, we don’t find someone. If we do, at least it’ll be someone we approve of for sure.” Bob’s laughter caused some of the tension to seep out of Jack and Alicia.

“We’ll think on it, sweetheart,” Alicia said more directly to Jack.

“We’re gonna do it, son. You just help us figure this website out and we’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Maman. Thank you, Papa.” Jack let a small smile creep out of him as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to wind down. “I’ll let you two go now.”

“Going to bed already? You’re turning into an old man, Jack.”

Jack huffed out a laugh. “Bonne nuit, Maman. Bonne nuit, Papa. Je t’aime.”

“Bonne nuit, Jack,” Alicia said, “Je t’aime.”

Once the line went dead, Alicia looked at Bob with a disapproving gaze. Bob just smiled at her. She turns and faces him, sliding her phone on the nightstand. “Bobby.”

“Oh, Alicia, you’re worrying too much,” Bob says, settling into the sheets, adjusting the pillow under his head, “It’ll be fine.”

“How can you be so sure?” She asks, but sinks into the warm embrace of the bed despite herself.

“If worse comes to worse, they can just… Get a divorce. What if he meets the love of his life?” Bob gave her a soft smile, moving in closer to her as he slipped his eyes shut.

“You better hope he meets the love of his life, Bobby, or I swear--”

“I love you, too,” Bob said with an easy grin.

“I love you,” she replied with a lazy smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now that we've gotten introductions out of the way...
> 
> Message me on tumblr [@hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i](hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com) to yell at me about this fic


	3. Tell Me What I Need To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Eric talk with both of their parents, respectively, about what they're looking for in a partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than the others! Also, I apologize about not posting last week. It was a little hellish for me...
> 
> Despite that, enjoy!

“Okay, Jack,” Alicia said, settling down on the couch beside Jack as Bob worked in the kitchen. “Tell me what you’re looking for in a partner.”

“Maman,” Jack pleaded, “Do we have to start with the hard questions first?”

Alicia laughed, bringing her legs up on the couch as he settled in with a laptop. “Well,” she said, “Let's start with physical qualities.”

“I don't have a type,” he said with a huff, “I know that's what you're implying.”

Alicia smiled, and said, “If you HAD to describe you ideal partner.”

Jack crossed his arms like a pouting child, but he took the bait. “Short. Not too short, but shorter than me. Smaller frame, but still athletic. Uh.” He bit the inside of his cheek before saying, a little quieter, “Blond.”

Bob laughed from the kitchen, which he tried to stifle. Jack clenched his jaw. “Son,” Bob said, “You have a type. And what's worse? It's my type.”

Jack groaned, his head resting against the couch. “It's not a type, it's just a preference.”

“That's the same thing, Jack,” Bob unhelpfully supplied before returning to his quiet state in Jack's kitchen.

“Anyways,” He continued, looking at his grinning Maman, “Are there any more questions?”

“Okay, how about attitude?” Alicia quickly turned her focus to the laptop screen, adjusting it on her lap.

“Just a nice person. I don't want someone who's rude. And it would be nice to find someone who, you know, listens. Because I don't talk a lot, but I want someone to listen for when I do. And, please, Maman, make sure they're intelligent.”

“Of course, I will. Anything else?”

“Anxiety. Make sure they’re gonna be able to handle it. Or are willing to learn. And my knee. I can't. I can't do this with someone who isn't willing.” Jack bit his lip, adjusting his leg to prop it up on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Absolutely, sweetheart. I'll keep all of this in mind.” Alicia typed on her computer before closing it, setting the laptop on the coffee table.

“You're an attractive young man, Jack, I wouldn't worry about finding someone interested. I'm only worried about finding someone worthy," his mother assured, scooting even closer to her son. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder, giving him a soft smile that served to ease Jack.

“Maman,” he said with a small grin, “I'm not a teenager. You make it sound like you're consoling me from my first break up or something.”

Alicia didn't answer, she just stood and walked into the kitchen with that same soft smile. When she finally made it to the kitchen, she answered him with “You have the heart of a teenager.”

_X_ 

“Okay, honey,” Suzanne said, grinning from ear to ear as she clicked her pen. She quickly scribbled down something off screen and Bitty couldn’t help but laugh.

“Mama! Are you taking notes?” Bitty couldn't say he was surprised. Taking notes on her son's needs and wants seems like something she absolutely would do.

“Of course I’m taking notes! Are you kidding me?” Suzanne looked up from her paper and back to the Skype window.

“Oh my Lord, Mama,” he said with a huff, tapping his finger on his knee. “Please promise me you won’t take notes with you when you talk to these guys. Or take notes the with you."

“Hush, I’m not gonna bring the notes with me. Now, answer the question.” She put her pen down and adjusted the computer to better fit her in frame.

Bitty crossed his arms over his chest and quickly changed the subject with “Where’s Coach?”

“He’s with the boys. Now, stop stalling and just answer me, Dicky. Describe him.” Suzanne looked significantly more frustrated than before. “Unless you think looks aren’t important to you…”

“No! I mean, they’re not the most important. Uh, okay.” Bitty knew there was heat rising to his cheeks, but his tried to hide his blush by looking down and pretending to do something on his phone while he talked. “I would like a guy who’s tall. Taller than me, at least. Muscular, athletic. You know, just generally attractive! And maybe like, pretty eyes. I am a sucker for pretty eyes.”

Suzanne let out a laugh and said, “Your father was as well. You know, he used to always play that song--”

“Yeah, Brown Eyed Girl, I know. You love that story.”

“I would like it a lot more if you’d let me tell it." Her words lacked any real heat. She turned to write on his paper and Bitty let her scribble, resting his chin in his palm.

“And, if we’re just being ideal,” he said with a small grin, “Maybe, you know, older. I’m not a big fan of anyone younger than me. But don’t forget that I need a smart guy. Someone I can actually communicate to. And he has to understand that I’m busy in the mornings with the bakery, but when I do spend time with him, I want it to be fun! So, please, no one boring. Someone who is hardworking, dedicated, passionate. And…”

“And?”

“My ADD, Mama. He needs to be someone patient. I can’t always remember stuff right and I’m very forgetful. People sometimes take that the wrong way. I know you know that, you’ve seen those moms at the bake sale get all upset because I couldn’t remember their kid’s name. And I get distracted, talk a lot...”

“Sweetie, these are all just unique things about you. I promise I’m gonna find you someone special who will take care of all your needs.” Suzanne grinned, and Bitty slowly let himself relax.

“Alright. Thank you, Mama. You didn’t have to do this for me.” He was appreciative. He wasn’t sure how she would feel about picking out a suitable guy for him but she seems to be having a ball.

“Oh, please! Like I would miss the opportunity to have a say in your romantic life. You know I just have to find you the perfect guy.” She set the notepad and pen aside. “Now, let me tell you about what Kimberly did at the bake sale.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've sorta divided this story into three main parts and each one of those parts consists of five chapters, with each fifth chapter being something major. Hope that makes sense. Also, to make up for missing a week and for this chapter being so short, get ready for a big update in chapter four!
> 
> Next time, our boys get a match! 
> 
> Message me on tumblr [@hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i](hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com) to yell at me about this fic


	4. Meet The In-Laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Eric meet the potential in-laws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's that nice, long chapter I promised you all!

It was a few weeks before the topic was even brought back up. Suzanne and Coach perused the website together, searching for a man who was suitable to meet. It seemed as if nothing good would come of this. A few accounts had caught their eyes, but it seemed as if there were too many listings to get through and hardly any were meeting the standards they set for their son. The last thing they wanted to do was settle.

Coach was sitting in his home office, going through profile after profile. He was just about ready to call it quits when he saw a particularly… Interesting profile. “Suzie,” he called, “Will you come in here?”

Suzanne peeked in to room and said, “Richard, don’t you think it’s time to get off that website? Just for the night?”

Coach stood up and said, “I think I got someone.” He had the smallest smile as he turned towards the screen and offered the chair to Suzanne who gratefully took the seat. He stood behind her and watched as she analyzed the profile.

**Jack Zimmermann.**  
**Age: 31**

Instantly, Suzanne’s eyes lit up. The man seemed interesting, with a small, polite smile, his interests in photography and, at the bottom of the list, hockey. The boy wasn’t that bad to look at, either! Suzanne smiled down at her husband, who had a smile to match. She patted him on the shoulder and murmured, “Good find, Richy.” Coach beamed. “Now, go to bed.”

Coach nodded, turning off the monitor of the computer and standing up. The feeling of accomplishment swarming in him. He had confidence that this sporty, and, erm, objectively attractive man would be the type for his son.

The next morning, a life-changing phone call was made.

_X_

“Uh, yes,” Bob said, scratching his head as he sat down on the couch, “This is Bob. Who is this, may I ask?”

“I’m happy I got hold of you, Bob! My name is Suzanne Bittle, Mother of Eric Bittle. I got your phone number through the dating site. Married By Mom and Dad?”

“Oh!” Bob suddenly sat up and laughed to the phone, “Yes, of course. I apologize. You’re calling about Jack now, I understand.”

Suzanne couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh as well. “I am. See, your son seems very nice from what I’ve read. I was wondering if there was any way I could arrange to meet him,” she said, relaxed, “and for you to meet my son.”

Bob was silent for a brief moment. “I,” he started, suddenly out of the seat and grabbing a stray paper and a pen from the coffee table, “Yes, of course. I’d love to meet your son first, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“That sounds perfectly fine,” the woman, Suzanne, said. God, her accent was thick. Where was she from?

“Alright, I’ll just need your name, his name, both of your contact information.”

“Absolutely,” she said, her voice sounding sweet, “Suzanne and Eric Bittle Senor. B-I-T-T-L-E,” she spelled out, “and my son, Eric Bittle Junior.” She gave them her phone number, along with Eric’s. Bob gave her his information in exchange.

“My I ask where you’re from? Your accent is…” American South?

“Georgia.” Wow, American South indeed. “Eric, too. I’m assuming you’re from somewhere a little closer north?”

Bob, again, laughed. “Canada, actually. Montreal. Jack lives in America now, though.”

“Interesting! I’ll give Eric a heads up that he should be expecting a call from you, Bob,” Suzanne said.

“Sure thing. I’ll call him later today when my wife is home!”

“And I’ll call Jack tomorrow,” she assured.

_X_ 

Bitty was more than surprised to get a call and be greeted by an excited victory cry from his mother. Bitty was in the middle of putting a tin of muffins in the oven when he felt his phone ringing. He knew it would only be of emergencies, so he took the phone call by waving Dex over to put the rest of the muffins in their oven. Bitty stepped aside, pressing his phone to his ears.

“What’s wrong, Mama?” Bitty was wiping his hands on the front of his apron, ready to have to write anything down or dart outside.

“Dicky! You’re never gonna believe this.” His mother sounded so excited, he couldn’t help but instantly brighten up. “I found someone for you! That site? There was a boy. And, well, you know I can’t tell you about him, but he’s so handsome, Dicky! I just talked to his father on the phone and his father sounds like a very lovely man and think this is it.”

Bitty pressed his phone to his ear, smiling across the shop at Lardo, who was tuned in but obviously trying to not seem so. She was always able to tune in at just the right moments. “Mama, that’s great,” Bitty said, “I’m… I’m excited! I can’t believe this. What can you tell me?”

“Honey, all I can tell you is that you’re getting a phone call some time today from the boy’s daddy. I want you to be ready for it, okay? Dicky, I’m honestly so excited I could fall over! I can’t wait to tell your daddy because he’s just gonna have a fit! He picked this boy out for you, you know?”

“He did?” The nervousness suddenly returned, and he bit his lip. “I didn’t think he was gonna, you know…”

“Dicky, the man has literally spent all night for the past couple nights just scrollin’ and scrollin’, tryna find you the perfect husband.” Bitty couldn’t help but notice how exasperated she sounded recollecting the night. He realized it had been a moment before he replied, so he said, “I’ll keep an eye out for that phone call, alright Mama? Right now, I got about four dozen muffins I have to get in the oven before customers start to riot.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” she crooned, “I’ll let you go work, but if you miss this phone call you’re gonna be sorry! I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Mama,” Bitty replied, “I’ll call you if I get a call from that man.” Bitty hung up his phone with a wide grin. He noticed Lardo watching him from over her coffee with a small smile. Bitty gave her a tiny wave before getting back to work.

“What was all that about,” Dex asked as Bitty returned to work with a big old smile on his face, engrossing himself back into his task.

“Apparently I’m getting a phone call later today about a potential husband,” Bitty said simply, placing the lattice for his cherry pie.

“It worked?” Dex asked, moving behind Bitty to start checking on things in the ovens. “Huh. I won’t lie, I didn’t really have faith in it when you explained it to me.”

Bitty just laughed, laying the lattice perfectly. “I won’t lie Dex,” he said, “I didn’t have much faith in it either.”

_X_ 

“Yes sir, that’s me.” Bitty had only just finished work, flipping the open sign to closed as his co-workers worked on cleaning up the place. “Are you here to request a catering service for Sunshine Bakery?”

“No, actually,” the man said, “I’m here to talk to you about a potential partner. I talked to your mom earlier.”

Bitty almost slapped himself. Blood quickly rose to his cheeks, turning with whole face pink. “Oh Lord, I’m so sorry!” Bitty scrambled, holding onto the seat. “You must be-- Oh, I apologize profusely, just give me one moment, I’m closing up my shop right now.” Bitty bustled back behind the counter, pulling out a pen and paper, and said, “Alright, alright, I’m here now.”

Thankfully, the man on the other side of the line seemed to find the situation comical. He let out a soft chuckle and said, “Alright, Eric. Well, I’ll start off by saying my name is Bob. I’m here with my wife Alicia and you’re on speaker phone.”

“Nice to meet you, Bob and Alicia,” he said with a smile, writing the names down on paper.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Alicia replied, smile obvious in her voice.

“We were wondering if there was any way we could meet you,” Bob asked.

“Oh!” Bitty smiled brightly. “Yes, of course, if you’d like! I don’t know if Mama told you, but I live in Providence, Rhode Island.”

“Providence, huh?” Alicia sounded oddly pleased by the location, so Bitty assumed it wasn’t too far away.

“Absolutely! If you want, you could come down here to my bakery and we could chat!” Bitty doodled a little smiling face beside their names and was working on a small bunny face up in the corner.

“We were actually planning on heading down to Providence next week, so we’d be more than happy to stop by and have a chat with you! I’d love to see the bakery, too,” Bob said, and Bitty couldn’t help but be eased by his voice.

“Really? Well, feel free to call me any time to set up plans,” he said, clicking his pen closed, “Does this number work for me to call you back?”

“Absolutely,” Bob said, “Expect to hear from us soon.”

“I can’t wait! I’ll hear from you soon, Bob. Alicia.”

“We’ll talk to you soon,” Alicia said, “Have a good day.”

“You too!” Bitty hung up and instantly found he was being watched by two employees in particular.

“Bits,” Chowder said, “Does this mean what I think it does?”

“Chowder, Dex,” Bitty said with a huge grin, “I have a date.”

_X_

It didn’t take long for them to meet. True to their word, Bob and Alicia came down and met Bitty at the Sunshine Bakery in Providence. The night before the visit, Bitty stayed at the bakery way beyond usual, making sure the place was tidied up. He cleans when he’s nervous anyways, so his nerves being shot through the roof means that he ended up calling Lardo while he was cleaning just to rant and clean and let out all his worries. There were enough troubles to last for a four hour phone call before, finally, Bitty had decided the place was presentable enough.

The next morning, Bitty made sure he wore a decent shirt that he was still able to work in. He chose a light yellow polo that was embroidered with _SUNSHINE BAKERY_ in orange stitching. He received it when he first started working at the bakery for a nice catering event. Bitty went to work as usual, but he couldn’t help but be tense and nervous while he worked that day. He flitted around the kitchen and checked up on absolutely everything, making sure that every pie and pastry presented were both gorgeous and delicious.

As time grew near for Bitty to meet Bob and Alicia, he slipped into the bathroom to clean himself up. This included, but was not limited to, fixing his hair, trying to comb down his cowlick (to no avail) and lint rolling his clothes. He finally felt presentable and went out around the shop, asking his customers what they thought about the place. Most of the feedback was, of course, positive. He was proud of his work, proud of his employees, and he had a large majority of repeat customers.

He was just wrapping up talking to nice old lady who told Bitty how much she enjoyed her slice of cherry pie when he saw an older couple enter. He checked his watch and realize that this couple might be the parents he was meeting with and he almost jumped out of his skin. He went over to greet them with a wide smile, offering his hand. 

The first thing Bitty couldn’t help but notice was how attractive the two were. Bitty prayed to whatever god was listening that their son be biological. Lord, Alicia’s eyes and Bob’s jaw? Stunning.

“Pleasure to meet you,” he said, shaking Bob’s hand, “I’m Eric Bittle, owner of the Sunshine Bakery.”

“Ah, yes, Eric.” Normally, Bitty would be absolutely terrified of someone of Bob’s size looming over him. Yet, something about the way Bob’s eyes had sparkled when Bitty shook his hand made Bitty trust him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Next, Bitty turned to Alicia, holding out his hand to her. Once Bitty gave her a good look, he couldn’t help but feel like he knew her from somewhere. “Eric,” Alicia said with the sweetest smile as she shook his hand, “It’s so good to see you.”

“I’ll take you to a table,” Eric said, releasing her hand and leading them over to a table. He couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh when no one was looking. He can do this, he knows it. Just have to awkwardly meet the parents. Bitty stopped in front a clean, empty table that looked out onto the busy street. “Here you are! I’ll get you two somethin’ to eat and then we can chat.”

“I’ll take whatever’s best,” Alicia said with a smile, setting her coat on the back of her seat before sitting.

Bob followed her, taking the seat beside her and replying, “Same for me. I trust you know what’s best.”

“Sure thing,” he said with a polite smile, rushing off to the display case. He picked out two slices of maple apple pie and two standard coffees before coming back out, setting the food and drinks on the table.

“This is one of the newer items I made. People seem to love them, so I figured I’d see what your thoughts are.” Bitty nervously took the seat across from them. Bob took a bite and let out an approving hum. Alicia let out a little laugh once she ate her first bite.

“Absolutely amazing, Chef Bittle,” Alicia said.

“I’d have to agree. You’ve got good taste,” Bob agreed, taking his second bite. Bitty was smiling so hard he was practically beaming.

“Gosh, thank y’all so much! It’s my family’s recipe for apple pie, just tweaked by adding maple syrup to the crust.

Bob let out a chuckle and said, “It’s good maple syrup, too.”

“Thank you, again, for meeting me out here. I’m very honored y’all came down here just to do this.”

“It’s no big deal,” Bob said, “We love Providence. I’m just upset that we haven’t been to your bakery before.”

“It’s very nice.” Alicia took in the view from the window, watching as a man walking a dog crossed by. “Full of good people.”

“So, son,” Bob said, pushing aside a now-empty plate with a soft smile, “How did you manage to get this place? You seem a little young to have acquired a business this soon.”

“Oh, well,” Bitty said, blushing just slightly, “I left Georgia for Samwell University. There, I studied business and food culture. I then started working at this bakery when it was ran by a man named Peter. Very nice man, for sure. I worked here for a few years and he ended up gifting the shop to me. I was amazed, for sure, but he said he felt I had the spark this bakery needed. He didn’t have children and he wasn’t married but he said he was tired of the early mornings. I kept the name in his honor.”

“That’s amazing,” Alicia said, “I also graduated from Samwell. What did you do to get there?”

“I actually got there on an athletic scholarship,” Bitty admitted shyly, “Hockey.”

If Bob’s hopeful eyes could get any bigger, they did in that moment. “You played hockey?”

“I sure did! I was captain of the team my senior year, actually. It was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done. I made a ton of long lasting friendships there.” If there was one thing he missed, it was the Samwell Men’s Hockey team.

Bob seemed satisfied with the answer, and he asked, “Do you still play?”

“Oh, no,” he said sheepishly, “I haven’t played since then. I still enjoy it, though. I’ll catch a game on TV when I can. The Falconers are always a joy to watch.”

“They are, aren’t they?” Alicia smiled up at Bob.

“Absolutely,” he agreed. Bitty couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something.

“Well,” Bitty hummed, “What else would you like to know?”

Alicia looked down at Bitty and said, “How personal do you mind getting?”

“As personal as you like. It’s best you know all you want before any sort of wedding.” Bitty still prepared himself for the worst.

Alicia took a sip of her coffee. Bob seemed tuned in that something wasn’t right and she gripped Bob’s hand. “How are you with anxiety? Specifically, your thoughts on people diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.”

Their conversation was ended when, after an hour, a lunch rush flooded Sunshine Bakery. Bitty apologized repeatedly and promised them that they could text him or call him at any time with any sort of questions they’d have for him. The couple nodded and left with promises to do so. Bitty paid for their food, despite Bob’s protests, and then he was back to work.

 _X_

Jack had gotten a call from his parents saying the site had been a success. At first, Jack wasn't sure what to think. He knew he should be happy that his parents found someone for him but he was only nervous. “What does this mean for me?”

“Well,” his father said, “I met the boy and he's wonderful, absolutely perfect--”

“Bobby.”

“So his parents are going to meet you. I figured I'd probably be better if you fly down there instead of them coming up to meet you.”

“Flying? Where am I going?” Jack nervously ran his fingers under the seam on the outside of his pants leg.

“Madison, Georgia,” Alicia said.

_X_ 

Going to meet the parents of a significant other is terrifying. Going to meet the parents of a significant other that you haven't even met yet? Dreadful. It's taking everything in his being not to turn tail and run. The only reassurance was that he would hardly be recognized in a place as southern as this. He knew he was able to actually be a normal person here and not the freshly retired NHL player.

Georgia was also a lot warmer than he anticipated. Everyone around him seemed to be perfectly fine with the weather, but Jack felt so uncomfortable in the sticky heat. It certainly didn't help his jarring situation.

He still powered through it all, making it to his hotel and cranking up the AC. Jack was only a little embarrassed by how proud he was of himself for making it through the day, until he remembered what his therapist said. Take pride in your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.

Jack took a deep breath of the cool air that was now circulating the room, in and out. Now that he finally had a moment alone, he could breathe and relax. The first thing he did was sit on the single bed, prop up his leg with a pillow, and relax.

 _X_

It only got warmer as the day progressed, much to Jack’s dismay. He knew he was going to end up hating his button up shirt by the end of the meeting but he needed to look presentable. Make a good impression. This could be it. This could be the love of his life.

Or this could be the worst decision of his life. He could get married to someone who learns everything about him and then divorced him, takes his money, and ends up selling his life story to the tabloids. He's trying not to think about that, but it keeps popping up. While he's getting in his rental car and driving to a house in the middle of nowhere, all that's buzzing in his head is how this could all just be one big mistake.

When he pulls up in the driveway of a two story house, he has to stop just so he can breathe. He sucks in the cool air of the AC, leaning against the steering wheel. Jack knows he can't sit out here long, that they probably saw him pull into the driveway and they’re waiting for him. Just a few seconds to collect himself, then he’ll be out.

A moment later, he gets out the car and into the heat. He stuffs his keys in his pockets and knocks on the door.

The door swings open and he's greeted by a small, smiling woman with styled blond hair and large eyes. “Well, you must be Jack! Come on in,” the lady says, stepping aside for him to enter.

“Richard! Jack is here!” The lady closed the door behind Jack, stepping in the kitchen and nodding for him to follow. “It's nice to meet you, honey, my name is Suzanne Bittle and my husband, Eric Bittle Senior is outside finishing up grilling.”

“It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Bittle,” he said with a small, polite smile. He tried to make it as real as possible. She gave him a little smile back, so he figured it was good enough.

“Well, while he’s out there grilling, you can help me in the kitchen,” she said, pulling him inside, “Do you cook?”

Jack shook his head before realizing it was impolite. “No, I don't,” he said, walking to the sink and beginning to wash his hands.

“Well, it'll just be easy stuff, so don't worry about it.” She gently patted his shoulder before placing a bag of produce on the empty counter space beside the cutting board. “Just cut up the vegetables there and put it in the bowl.” She stood beside him, putting the lattice on top of a pie. “Do you have food allergies?”

“No, ma’am,” Jack said, taking a knife and starting to cut a cucumber into slices.

She smiled and said, “Perfect! Nothing to worry about. What do you think about pie?”

“Oh,” he said, stopping mid-slice, “I haven't ever really, uh, eaten pie.” He continued with the slice, turning back towards the vegetables. “I've always had a very strict diet, no room for pie.”

“Well, ain't that a shame,” she said with a smile. Jack thinks he could get used to a smile like that. It's very inviting. “Would you be opposed to pie today?”

“I suppose I can make an exception,” he said with a more relaxed smile.

Suzanne laughed, causing his smile to loosen up more. “That's great! May I ask why you had dietary restrictions?”

“I'm an athlete,” he said, before correcting himself, “Or, I was.”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” she said, “What sport?”

“Hockey. I know that isn't too popular around here,” he said sheepishly. He doesn’t mind football, but it never really was his thing.

“That's true,” she said with a laugh, “We actually watch some NCAA hockey, believe it or not. Did you play NCAA?”

“No, uh,” he said, that nervousness starting to crawl back up, “I played NHL, actually.”

“How nice,” Suzanne said, admiring her pie, “Richard is more of a football fan. He played it for a good while. He played through college.”

Jack thought about it for a moment, then said, “I, um, always wanted to do that. College, I mean. I went from high school right into hockey. College always seemed like fun.”

“It is. I met Richard in college,” she replied, “What was your favorite subject?”

“History,” he said without hesitation, “I always loved it. Even though I didn't have college, I still read a ton. Most of those were history books.” He pulled out a carrot, chopping off the top before cutting it into slices.

“What else did you do? During the off season.” She opened up the oven, sending a wave of heat into the air.

“I had a few friends outside of hockey that I would talk to. I also liked to travel.” A little quieter, he said, “Take photos and stuff.”

“That's very nice, Jack,” she said while putting the pie in the oven and shutting it. “You could show me some, if you'd like, but you don't have to. Right now, you could go get my husband and tell him I said to put it in gear.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a smile, “I'll go introduce myself.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said with a gentle smile, setting a timer and taking over the vegetables.”

Jack walked out of the kitchen and took the moment to take a few more deep breaths. He's been dreading the heat, not wanting to sweat through his shirt. He prepared himself for the worst as he walked out of the house and into the back yard.

“Jack,” Coach said, “Nice to meet you,” he said, stepping away from the grill and holding out his hand.

Jack took his hand and gave him a smile, “Good to meet you, Mr. Bittle.”

“Do you grill?” Coach asked, flipping burger patties.

“No, not really,” Jack said, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Do you watch sports?” Coach asked, closing the grill.

“Yes, sir. I used to play until last year. Hockey,” he said, “Do you watch?”

Coach nodded, “Yeah, I watch NCAA.”

Jack recognized that he was a pretty quiet guy right off the bat. He, honestly, couldn't be happier.

“So, you watch sports. Used to play sports. You also seem kinda quiet,” Coach said, which made Jack clench his jaw in preparation of the disapproval. “You basically check off everything from my list. Suzanne sent you back here, which means you passed her test too.” He gave Jack a look that might be interpreted as a grin. 

Jack let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding in. He gave Mr. Bittle a small grin as well.

Coach gave him a little pat on the shoulder. Maybe this won't be as bad as Jack had anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few weeks I'll be slammed with graduating and gradweek, where you can find me laid up on the beach and trying to ignore my impending student loan debt. After that, however, I'll be updating this fic again. A small hiatus for the MAJOR chapter that'll be coming up next.
> 
> Message me on tumblr [@hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i](hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com) to yell at me about this fic


	5. Let's Get Married!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This was a long awaited chapter! I honestly didn't expect it to take me this long, but with high school ending and college starting, I've been under a lot of pressure recently. What little breaks I have had from stress I've used for vacationing, but I knew I'd get around to this eventually. The next chapter won't take nearly as long to be posted. Also, I have been meaning to mention that this fic is entirely beta-less so if you see any typos, please feel free to let me know!

Over the new few months, Bitty had remained in contact with Bob and Alicia. They asked him every question they could think of and Bitty replied honestly. He completely opened up to them, telling them everything about himself. He didn’t want to go into this with secrets, or to fake compatibility, so he decided that honesty was the best policy. After two months of questioning, he got a text from Bob. Expecting it to be a simple question about his life, he opened it in work while he was on break sitting across from Lardo.

_Bob: Eric. These past few months have shown me that you’re a great person. One I would love for my son to be around. I’ve spoken with Alicia and we’ve both decided that we’d like for you to marry our son. Our only hope now is that your parents agree._   
_Bob: I guess this is the part where I say that you have my blessing. :)_

Bitty almost fell out of his seat while reading the text. He pushed his phone over towards Lardo, showing her the message. Lardo read it over once, then twice, then slid the phone back over to him.

“And to think you doubted me,” Lardo said with a smirk, “So now you’re getting married, huh?”

“Lardo, I haven’t even met the man I’m getting married to! Lord, how could you do this to me?” He shook his head, clutching his phone in his hand.

“I better be the Maid of Honor,” she said with a grin. Bitty lifted his head up from the table and looked her in the eye.

“Of course you’re going to be! Who else?” Bitty gave her a smile, typing out a reply to Bob.

_Bitty: I’d be absolutely honored!_

_X_

It’s fair to say the Suzanne and Coach have both fallen in love with the thought of Jack being their son-in law. They have been sticking to their word and not dropping any hints as to who Bitty was marrying. It was driving Bitty absolutely mad.

“Honey,” Suzanne said one morning, cooking up breakfast for the two of them, “Don’t you think it’s about time?”

“Time for what,” Coach gruffed, pouring two mugs full of coffee for the two of them and setting them both down on the counter.

Suzanne smiled, mixing up a pan full of cooked eggs and plating them. “Well, Jack has answered every question we’ve asked, plus I already know that he meets your standards. I was just thinking if maybe we should… Give him our blessing.”

“You’re sure about it, Suzie?” Coach held out her coffee mug for her, adorned with the words WORLD’S GREATEST MOM.

“I am,” she agreed, nodding as she set eggs down on their dinner table and scooped up her coffee from Coach.

“Then it’s settled,” Coach said, taking a drink of his coffee.

_X_

For Bitty, it still never seemed real. He still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that he was getting married, to a stranger no less. He was soon to be bonded for life with a man he could very well hate. It wasn’t until he was in contact with their wedding planner, Luis, that suddenly he realized this was real.

Luis was a wedding planner sent by Bob and Alicia. The wedding was set to be in Boston, the colors were picked to be lilac and white, and the cake was chocolate with a vanilla frosting. At first, Bitty insisted on making his own wedding cake, but when the thought about how many wedding cake orders he already had to fill, he was happy to put the workload onto someone else. Bitty was currently too busy with his work to try and plan his own wedding.

Luis was nothing if not helpful, though, promising that the place they were ordering the cake from was amazing. Bitty was forever grateful that Bob and Alicia found him. A friend of a friend, they had said. Luis seemed like such a good, honest man, and Bitty owed him his free time.

A considerable portion of the planning had been done, thankfully, by the parents. Since they were the only people aware of the couple getting married, they could easily talk to each other and plan more efficiently than Bitty or Jack were able to. However, this also lead to random phone calls in the middle of the day of hard hitting questions.

“Do you want to walk down the aisle,” Bob had asked him one day just as Bitty was getting curled up into bed.

“Oh, well,” Bitty had shyly said, “I… I don’t want people to think we’re playing into roles, you know? I think it’s kinda weird to be only person being passed off, or passed off at all considering.”

“Alright, I’ll remember that.”

Bitty was happy, however, that Bob and Alicia did seem to keep his concerns in thought. For that, he was grateful. He seemed to speak to Bob more often than Alicia, which he didn’t mind. Bob was a great man, always open to listen to Bitty’s concerns, and he could talk up a storm with Bitty. God, he hoped his future husband was like his father.

_X_

The wedding day seemed to come out of nowhere. At one moment Bitty was baking pies and at the next he was getting his suit tailored. Then, it seemed like the next he was wearing a satin lilac tie sent to him by his mother, the only sure way the ties would match exactly. Finally, it seemed like he couldn’t breathe because his parents were in town, along with Moomaw, and they were all telling them what it’s like to get married, what it’s like to fall in love, and Bitty felt like he was drowning in the color lilac. Everywhere he turned he was met with blinding white and smothered with lilac. He’s pacing in an empty room in the chapel when he’s flanked by both his parents, trying to get him to breathe.

“I’m gonna puke,” he feels more than hears himself say, the back of his throat burning as he’s ushered into a chair by his father. 

“Honey, please don’t puke,” said his mother’s voice from behind him. Now he realized there was a trashcan being shoved in his lap, and he curled over it but nothing came up. “It’s just the nerves, I promise.”

“Son,” Coach said, making Bitty lift his head and meet his eyes. He looks awkward, standing there in his suit and tie, but he clears his throat and continues. “I was nervous, too, when I was going to marry your mother. I thought I was going to end up being a runaway,” he said, much to Suzanne’s dismay, “but I made it. You can, too. Just go up there, say your vows, give each other a kiss and it’ll be over before you know it.”

“Oh my God, I have to kiss him, I completely forgot I have to kiss him,” he said, falling back in the spiral, feeling his stomach lurch and dropping his head back down. Still, nothing came up.

“I think you’ll be more excited about it than you think,” Suzanne told him with a easy smile, putting a hand on the back of his neck.

“You mean that? He’s not some gross old man?” His voice echoed through the plastic trash can.

"He’s a nice young man,” Coach said with a reassured nod.

“Oh no, he’s super young isn’t he?” Bitty pulled his head out of the bin, leaning back and facing the ceiling as he forced the nausea to go away.

“No,” Suzanne said, sliding her hand away, “he’s perfect.” She grabbed Bitty’s hand, pulling him up to his feet. “Come on, remember what your daddy said, all you have to do is walk, say ‘I do’ and kiss. It’ll be over before you even know it.

_X_

“I can’t do it, Papa,” he said with a frown, sitting backwards in a discarded chair, resting his forehead against the cool metal back.

“Nonsense,” Bob said, leaning against the chair next to him before lowering down into it. “He’s a great guy, Jack, sweet as can be, cute as button, you’re gonna love him.”

“I’ve already puked twice,” he stated simply, “what if I end up doing it again? What if I get sick on stage?”

“Swallow it,” Bob said with a little laugh, “that’s what I had to do.”

“It’s not funny. I…” Jack jerked his head up from the chair, looking over at his father, “I’ve got to go, I can’t. I can’t do this, not like this.”

Bob moved his chair over closer to Jack, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Jack, this is one of the best opportunities I think you’ve had in a long time. I’d hate for you to miss out on this…” When Jack still looked like a deer in the headlights, Bob stood up, hooking his hand under Jack’s arm and pulling him up to his feet. “Come on, up you go.”

“Papa, no,” Jack protested, but still stood up, still walked forward, still looked him in the eye even if the fear was getting to him. His knee was feeling awful today, probably brought on by all the stress, but he refused to walk down the aisle today with a cane like an old man.

“You know what your uncle always said,” Bob said, pulling Jack towards the door, “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. He’s here today, by the way, third row. I heard he brought you something nice for your reception.”

Jack bit his lip, repeating the words in his head. _You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t make._ It’s been awhile since he’s taken a shot. After this, he feels like he’s going to need a shot.

Bob dragged him out to where he was supposed to be waiting for his entrance, where he met Luis. He was of an average height, tan skin and dark hair, groomed neatly and perfectly. He looked better than Jack felt, for sure. Luis gave him a few words of encouragement before sending him off to his place. Once he was walking past the front entrance of the chapel, he saw a crowd of working people and fought his way through. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw a little speck of sun, causing him to turn and see a thatch of blond hair being whisked into the distance. He stood there, searching for a moment because of course his husband would be blond. There’s no way his father wouldn’t match him with a blond.

“Come on, Jack,” his father said, tugging him back along. Jack walked with him, slowly looking back forwards again, back to pushing through the crowd.

_X_

Both of the grooms were calm until their entrance songs plays, then it’s like the anxiety washed over them all over again. The song played for only a few moments before the doors whooshed open. The inside looks so much like a traditional wedding, Jack almost thinks he’s walked into the wrong wedding. He knew his parents would go over the top with things, but everything here looks so simple and elegant that he thinks, _'no, this has to be wrong. I’m in the wrong in the wrong wedding.’_ His feet don’t start moving until Bob is pulling him, causing his legs to jump start and walk slowly on auto pilot. Jack looks away from where he was staring at the chapel to see a man standing in front of him, walking toward him from the other side of the church and Jack’s heart almost stops. The first thing Jack thinks is _‘he’s gorgeous.’_ He’s got beautiful blond hair and bright brown eyes that are shimmering and looking directly into his and he’s smiling. The man is smiling and it’s so warm and Jack instantly feels twenty degrees hotter and like a fan is blowing hot air in his face. Again, he’s tugged forward by his father, and only then does he realize that he’s almost tripped just from looking at the man.

 _That’s the man I’m going to marry._ He feels his face heat, and he looks over towards his grooms court to see Shitty looking at him with an expression that is both pleasantly shocked and reassuring, like Shitty already knows that an angel has just walked into his life. He feels his father’s hand slip away from his arm, and he looks back forward again and sees that he’s standing right in front of this beautiful man. Jack thought the man’s eyes couldn’t get any bigger, but now that he’s standing in front of him, he feels like his entire world is a warm brown, silky and comfortable. The preacher is speaking, starting the ceremony, but Jack hasn’t heard a single word.

_X_

Bitty almost cried when he saw how beautiful his groom was. He didn’t know a thing about this man, but he could see his bright blue eyes from across the aisle, could see just how tall and built he was, how his shoulders were broad and his legs were thick. Bitty couldn’t help but smile, even as the man was frowning, looking so focused on each step, like he was worried he was going to mess this up. Bitty wanted nothing more than to reach forward and touch his cheek, feel his sharp cheekbone and jawline, or smooth down the front of his tie, or lose himself in the depth of his eyes. Damn, he thought they were blue from that far away, now they looked like an entire ocean of color. The preacher was talking, and he knew. He pulled his eyes away, looked over at Lardo who was wearing her own suit with a white tie, smiling at him and giving him the encouragement he desperately needed. Chowder walked up to the two of them holding a plush pillow with two identical wedding rings set on top, one much larger than the other, and plucked the larger one from the little pillow. He bit his lip, nervousness washing over him. The preacher looked at him expectantly, and he whispered, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

He slipped the ring onto his husband’s finger, his breath a little shaky with nerves, happy that he got the ring on and didn’t drop it. It wasn’t until he heard a deep voice say, “with this ring, I thee wed,” that he remembered to look up and give the other man his hand. The poor guy’s hand was shaking like a leaf when he slipped the ring on, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and tell him it was alright. Instead, he just reached forward and held his hands. The preacher carried on, and after what felt like an eternity, he heard this man’s name.

“Do you, Eric Richard Bittle Junior, take this man, Jack Laurent Zimmermann, to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I,” he croaked out, before swallowing the lump in his throat and saying, “I do.”

“Do you, Jack Laurent Zimmermann…” _Jack Laurent Zimmermann._ What a beautiful name. What a handsome name. That’s about to become half of his name. He’s about to share this man’s name.

“I do,” Jack said, still looking determined and focused. Bitty felt a little scrutinized under his gaze, like the man was making a mental list of every little thing about him. Jack was frowning, too, which made his stomach drop. Did he not approve? What if he isn’t what Jack was expecting. What if Jack thought he was too short, too small, too… Fragile. He hated that word. He was not a fragile person. He worked hard his whole life, he’s tougher than he looks! He’s fought tooth and nail for his life, he shouldn’t be judged for his outwards appearance, especially on his wedding day of all days.

“With the power vested in me, by the state of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you both Mr. Zimmermann-Bittle. You may now kiss your groom,” the preacher said, taking a small step backwards. Bitty knew this was it, this was the beginning. This was his new life as a Zimmermann-Bittle.

Kissing Jack isn’t what he expected at first. It was nothing but simple, chaste kiss, but even in such a small kiss Bitty could feel just how powerful he was. He kissed how he looked, polite, a little shy, but something deeper underneath. Bitty wanted desperately to know what that was. The crowd roared, everyone on their feet, hooting and hollering like a bunch of rowdy hockey players, (because almost half the chapel was,) and Bitty nervously broke the kiss, erupting into a wide smile. Jack looked down at him with a stunned look, and his friend, a lanky looking man with an impressive mustache and tied-back hair, slapped Jack on the shoulder and smiled at Bitty. “Glad to have you in the family,” he said over the roar, and Bitty nodded.

“Glad to be in it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, the reception!
> 
> Message me on tumblr [@hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i](hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com) to yell at me about this fic


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